I’ve been taking some time to reflect and I’ve come to the conclusion; it is time for a fresh start!
When Haddi and I began The Book War, what excited me most was the opportunity to write about all the crazy things rolling around in my head. You know…those things that matter; like politics, faith, love, relationships, sex, questions of the universe and existence, how to be a global citizen, how to parent. And in case you didn’t know, I think about a lot of things a lot of the time. Seriously, it’s a bit of a problem. You can ask Haddi or Leonel, they usually bear the brunt of my musings. So when we put this blog together I was pumped to finally have a place to articulate some of those thoughts using books as the gateway, because books are my gateway.
Ummm, don’t know if you’ve noticed, but that hasn’t really happened…has it?
You see, somewhere along the way I got afraid. I got afraid because, well…to be honest I am big wimp and all those lovely voices of “not enough” got the better of me. You know those message that keep saying there’s not enough time, you’re not smart enough, not a good enough writer, not informed enough, unique enough, articulate enough, ad nauseam….
And then I went ahead and spent eight days in silence this past month and folks that means eight days with yourself. You spend that kind of time with yourself and some revelations happen. What I realized?…about my blogging because lots of revelations happened…I’m probably not enough. At least I’m not any of those “enoughs.” But I also realized; I’m fine with that. I’m fine with it because this isn’t about me being “enough.” This is about me wanting to know what I think. This blog was to help me articulate me. Sure, I think about a lot of things and yeah, I got opinions coming out every pore of my body, but I don’t have to write them down, give them form and structure. This blog was to be that practice, that discipline of writing to help me hear my own voice and know me!
So here’s what’s going to happen….I’m going to ignore those fear as best I can, for as long as I can and I’m going to write. And yes, it will be from my perspective, my knowledge, my understanding which we can all agree is limited…but it’s mine and it’s all I got. I’m going to dare to own my voice, my perspective, my self. I am ready to meet her on some of these issues and see where we need to battle it out.
You all have been great and supportive and the “having an audience” thing helps keep me from getting to academic or preachy (usually). I thank you for coming along with us when you can. Now, here’s to hopin’ there will be a little more to read in the coming months then there has been in the last few.
Happy reading everyone!